I Muse

Hold up your hand. Face your palm towards you. Stare at it. Think. What are you looking at? An open palm? A limb of your body? An extension of you? Yet I am thinking. How do I know? How do I know the colour of my skin is really the colour I am seeing. Afterall a person who is colour blind does not see the same 'colour' as I do. If that is the case how many other types of blindess are there? How do I know I'm even looking at a palm? How do I know my finger movements are really doing that? Are those really fingers?

If I ask you whats the difference between a Dream and being awake. How would you answer that? Both are believable enough in their tangibility. So whats the sign that I am 'awake'. Am I awake?

I realize my existence is so simple. My whole life before me are just memories. Nothing that can assure me that it ever happened except for some physical remnants like a photograph or a souvenir. But like fossil bones, I would never certainly know. And when forgotten, the physical remnants lose all meaning.

My existence is now. I see and feel yet I can never be sure if I am dreaming or awake. I close my eyes and my ears and my world disappears. Can I control my reality so easily? It seems easy enough. I drink enough to have a warped world. I do things that otherwise I wouldnt. I'd see things so differently. Already my reality is altered. How do I know its even the same reality? Or have I just changed my lenses that look out into reality with beer goggles? But if thats the case how does reality look like without goggles? What IS real. If my eyes are only lenses into reality... how does an unfiltered reality look like? What colour would it be?

But if this is all a dream why cant I will myself out of this. Why cant I dream something happy? or is this a nightmare? But it is my world. My dream. Why must I have a nightmare? Isnt it mine? Is this mine?